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Summary
Summary
High schooler Natalie Cordova has just been diagnosed with Bipolar disorder. Her mom insists she keep it secret.
Putting up a front and hiding her mental illness from her classmates is going to be the hardest thing high schooler Natalie Cordova has ever done. It's her senior year, and she's just been selected to present her artwork at a prestigious show. With the stress of performing on her shoulders, it doesn't help when Natalie notices a boy who makes her heart leap. And then there's fellow student Ella, who confronts Natalie about her summer car "accident" and pressures her into caring for the world's ugliest dog. Now Natalie finds herself juggling all kinds of feels and responsibilities. Surely her newly prescribed medication is to blame for the funk she finds herself in. But as Natalie's plan to self-treat unravels, so does the perfect fa ade she's been painting for everyone else.
Written from experience, this heartfelt and candid contemporary YA novel explores the stigma surrounding mental illness and offers an uplifting narrative of resilience.
Author Notes
Christine Webb is a middle school teacher from Kalamazoo, Michigan. When she's not teaching or writing, she enjoys hanging out with her zoo (three goofy dogs, an evil cat, twenty nameless pigeons, and a friendly rat), and traveling with her husband. Follow her on Twitter @cwebbwrites.
Reviews (4)
School Library Journal Review
Gr 9 Up--High school senior Natalie Cordova has two secrets. One is that she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, something her mother doesn't want her to share. The other has to do with her car accident over the summer. Sophomore Ella saw the accident happen and knows the second secret--it was Natalie's suicide attempt. In addition to managing these secrets, she must prepare for a prestigious art show that may be her ticket to college. Then there's the dog Ella "blackmails" Natalie into adopting, a cute art tech who likes her, pressure from her mother, and a bigger family secret. As everything becomes challenging to manage, Natalie blames her medication, but her treatment plan causes everything to spiral further. Webb provides a realistic look into mental illness's stigma, shame, and experience that some may find to be triggering. From Natalie explaining her condition to her friends to a discussion with her brother Brent about how they are told to "stay off drugs" but then "you need drugs" when it comes to her being bipolar, Webb here presents a story with educational elements woven in. Despite Natalie's many obstacles, her journey is still shown as hopeful. Natalie's experience with mental health is one that readers with their own mental illness can find comfort in, and those without can genuinely learn something from it. VERDICT Highly recommended for library collections, this novel would make for excellent discussions.--Amanda Borgia
Publisher's Weekly Review
High school senior Natalie Cardova, an artist, is used to keeping secrets. Most of them are little ones, such as replacing her brother's beta fish with a new one so he wouldn't find out that it died. But she's also hiding one big personal truth: following an attempted suicide, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Convinced that "appearances are everything," her mother insists that no one can know about Natalie's BPD, because it will tank her friendships and ruin her shot at both becoming Homecoming queen and receiving scholarships to art school. But as Natalie juggles keeping her secret, a budding romance with sweet and disarming Ty, and an upcoming trip to Paris to participate in a prestigious art exhibition, she forgoes her medication: "I am not sick. Medications are for sick people," she asserts. Even as she struggles to be emotionally vulnerable--both with herself and Ty--Natalie's sharply drawn narrative voice provides levity and good humor. Debut author Webb draws from her own experience living with BPD to deliver a blistering portrayal of one teen's attempts to seem "normal enough" while managing a mental disorder--and the stigma and stereotypes that often accompany it--amid increasingly overwhelming life changes. Most characters cue as white. Ages 14--up. Agent: Emily Keyes, Fuse Literary. (Oct.)
Kirkus Review
A senior in high school learns to live--and live well--with bipolar disorder. It's autumn, and the new school year presents a challenge to 18-year-old Natalie Cordova. She has to navigate the college admissions crush and withstand the tireless grind of the gossip mill at school. She also must hide the truth about the near-catastrophic car accident she got into at the beginning of the summer: namely, that it wasn't really an accident. If anyone at school learns about her bipolar diagnosis or the suicide attempt that precipitated it--well, it would spoil her mother's picture-perfect Christmas card narrative, for one thing. As the pressures of the year mount, the secret grows heavier. There's the prestigious art show, an opportunity for Natalie to show off her talent and open up the path to art school, and there's Ella, a classmate who knows too much, says what she thinks, and sticks to Natalie like glue. Worst of all is Ty, a beautiful boy in a baseball cap and Birkenstocks who makes her light up. Achingly truthful, the book sees Natalie through the quagmire of the journey to self-acceptance with humor and insight. Webb works with intelligence and candor to chip away at the stigma that surrounds mental illness. Alongside Natalie, other characters living with differences also find full, loving, and safe lives. Main characters default to White. Kind, buoyant, and cleareyed. (resources) (Fiction. 13-18) Copyright (c) Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.
Booklist Review
Though Natalie gets back on her feet after her car accident, her journey isn't quite over. With the "accident" comes a new diagnosis---bipolar disorder--and her mother is determined to keep that diagnosis under wraps. The stigma around mental illness doesn't help Natalie accept her reality or her need for medication either. But with some new friends and a few close calls, Natalie just might find the courage to fully embrace herself. Webb constructs an intimate look at bipolar disorder in teen girls, while infusing Natalie's story with art, humor, and a bit of unexpected mystery. The story drops readers into Natalie's head, showing her visceral anxiety attacks and illogical thinking during manic periods firsthand. Focusing a positive lens on mental health, this coming-of-age story sees its protagonist navigating high school and young love. A comfortable fit for most contemporary YA collections, this is an ideal choice for readers looking for companion reads to Jeff Garvin's The Lightness of Hands (2020) with a more domestic setting.
