Summary

Blessed with a loving family, a successful business as an executive coach and money in the bank, Carol Kivler was suddenly and unexpectedly brought to her knees by "The Beast" - clinical depression. The story of her journey to recovery from medication-resistant depression is not only informative but inspires hope in others who suffer from this debilitating illness. Kivler's book is written for multiple audiences, especially individuals who are suffering from major depression and their loved ones. It is also for health care providers, who often make the difference between "giving up" and "recovery" for those suffering from mental illness. Her "Courageous Recovery Wellness Model" provides a roadmap for recovery while addressing the misconceptions and stigma associated with depression. "Major depression is not an attitude. It is not a personality dysfunction. It is not a flaw in character. It is not laziness or a call for attention. It is not hurt feelings or a reaction to a bump in the road. It is not contagious. Depression is not something that can be brought on or fought off by self-will. Depression is not something to be ashamed of. And most importantly, it is not something that should be ignored. Left untreated, serious depression can be life crippling and even lead to death (by suicide)." Because medication did not work for her, and despite serious reservations, Kivler eventually agreed to ECT (electroconvulsive therapy, or shock therapy). The treatment not only gave her back the desire to live but the ability to thrive in her personal and professional life. Electroconvulsive therapy became her "ladder out of the depression pit." Much of Kivler's apprehension toward ECT was based on stigma and misinformation. "Say the words 'shock therapy' to ten people and nine of them will respond with the movie title 'One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.' The movie (made in 1975) won five academy awards but left a wretched taste in our mouths about ECT. That movie as well as 'The Snake Pit' (made in 1945) both depict earlier developments of the treatment - not the modernized procedure that provides relief to countless patients every day. Unfortunately, they have left a deep impression on society that ECT is not only painful, barbaric and inhumane, but something to be ashamed of." In her opinion, the stigma associated with ECT deprives severely depressed individuals the right to potential recovery. Consequently, the section of her book on "Demystifying ECT" provides accurate, up to date information about today's modernized procedure, answers common questions such as "Does it hurt?" (No!) and discusses possible side effects (which Kivler found to be no worse than those from medication). In addition, the success rate of ECT, according to the American Psychiatric Association, is 80 percent. This is considerably higher than 45 to 50 percent success rate of most anti-depressants. Plus, the effects of ECT are generally felt as early as the third or fourth treatment, while medications can take as long as six weeks to take effect. "Will I Ever Be the Same Again" puts the face of hope on depression, providing information and inspiration to reach beyond the myths and stigma surrounding ECT and mental illness. It was an Award-Winning Finalist in the Health: Psychology/Mental Health category of the "Best Books 2010" Awards, sponsored by USA Book News. Kivler's book was also awarded Finalist, Self-Help Category, 2011 Next Generation Indie Book Awards.