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Summary
Summary
The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services reports that 80 percent of childhood abuse victims later suffer from at least one abuse-induced psychological disorder. It's proven that the effects of childhood abuse follow women into adulthood. Yet few men are prepared to deal with those effects, even when their own wife is the one who is suffering. And their wife's suffering becomes their own suffering as their needs aren't being met by a wife who is powerless to control her inner turmoil.
Author, pastor, and survivor Dawn Scott Jones candidly shares her own abuse experience to help husbands understand the varied emotions, fears, distorted thoughts, and triggers that hold their wives captive. In practical and accessible language, Jones explains the stages of the healing journey (processing denial, asking for help, grieving, expressing anger, learning to forgive, and finding resolution). Building on that knowledge, Jones then moves to an honest discussion of what husbands can do to help. Whether it's creating a healing environment, understanding the need for control, building trust, or even just praying for healing, a husband plays an active role in helping his wife survive and thrive despite her past abuse.
Offering hope for a healthy marriage relationship, When a Woman You Love Was Abused answers the questions men have and offers the advice they need to help their wives finally find peace.
Author Notes
Dawn Scott Jones is a survivor who has been sharing her testimony for more than twenty years. She is ah ordained minister with the Assemblies of God, is the creator of numerous audio teaching products, and has served in a variety of leadership, and ministry roles.
Reviews (1)
Library Journal Review
Abuse survivor and minister Jones (Resurrection Life Church) writes about the experience of overcoming childhood abuse for spouses who want to understand and support partners navigating the healing process. The book takes the same approach as Cecil Murphey's When a Man You Love Was Abused, offering insight into the survivor's thoughts and feelings and assuring spouses that they are not alone in what may be a bewildering and painful journey. Jones's writing is strongest in her stories of her personal experiences and those of other survivors she has known. The book offers helpful guidance but should not be mistaken for professional psychological advice. Jones writes primarily for heterosexual married couples of Christian faith and does not address other types of relationships. VERDICT This book will benefit men watching the woman they love grapple with her past, giving them some idea of what to expect during this process and how to deal with the changes that will occur.-Rachel Hoover, Thomas Ford Memorial Lib., Mount Prospect, IL (c) Copyright 2012. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.
Table of Contents
Foreword | p. 9 |
Introduction: She Needs You | p. 11 |
Part 1 Understanding the Survivor | |
1 Her Story Is Unique | p. 19 |
2 When Innocence Is Stolen | p. 25 |
3 The Circumstances Surrounding Her Childhood Abuse | p. 31 |
4 Emotions and the Beginning of Healing | p. 40 |
5 The Emotional Carnage of Shame, Guilt, and Fear | p. 46 |
6 Beyond Emotions, from Loneliness to Depression | p. 51 |
7 How Her Memories Surface | p. 56 |
8 Messages She Hears, Lies She Believes | p. 63 |
9 Her Distorted Self-Image | p. 70 |
10 God and Her Abuse | p. 80 |
11 Sexual Intimacy | p. 85 |
12 Her Inner Child | p. 91 |
Part 2 Understanding the Healing Process | |
13 Healing Stages | p. 99 |
14 Denying the Truth | p. 102 |
15 Deciding to Heal | p. 105 |
16 Surviving Crisis | p. 108 |
17 Remembering | p. 112 |
18 Choosing to Tell | p. 114 |
19 Releasing Responsibility | p. 120 |
20 Finding the Inner Child | p. 122 |
21 Grieving Loss | p. 125 |
22 Expressing Anger | p. 135 |
23 Forgiving | p. 137 |
24 Resolving the Conflict | p. 144 |
Part 3 How You Can Help | |
25 Fostering a Healing Environment | p. 151 |
26 Understanding Her Need to Control | p. 162 |
27 Building Trust in Sexual Intimacy | p. 168 |
28 Praying for Her | p. 176 |
29 She Needs You | p. 178 |
30 And What About You? | p. 185 |
31 Questions Men Have | p. 192 |
32 Finding Peace | p. 196 |
Epilogue | p. 201 |
Acknowledgments | p. 203 |
About the Author | p. 205 |