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Summary
Summary
"The anticipation and slow burn of Parker and Finn's relationship is electric...[an] absorbing novel that will appeal to fans of Rainbow Rowell." -- Booklist
Parker struggles to reconnect with her twin brother, Charlie--who's recovering from cancer--as she tries to deal with her anxiety about the future in this powerful new novel.
Twins Parker and Charlie are polar opposites.
Where Charlie is fearless, Parker is careful.
Charlie is confident while Parker aims to please.
Charlie is outgoing and outspoken; Parker is introverted and reserved.
And of course, there's the one other major difference: Charlie got cancer. Parker didn't.
But now that Charlie is officially in remission, life couldn't be going better for Parker. She's landed a prestigious summer internship at the hospital and is headed to Harvard in the fall to study pediatric oncology--which is why the anxiety she's felt since her Harvard acceptance is so unsettling. And it doesn't help that her relationship with Charlie has been on the rocks since his diagnosis.
Enter Finn, a boy who's been leaving strange graffiti messages all over town. Parker can't stop thinking about those messages, or about Finn, who makes her feel free for the first time: free to doubt, free to make mistakes, and free to confront the truth that Parker has been hiding from for a long time.
That she keeps trying to save Charlie, when the person who really needs saving is herself.
Author Notes
A former bookseller and teacher, Meg Leder currently works as a book editor in New York City. Her role models are Harriet the Spy and Anne Shirley. She is the author of Letting Go of Gravity , The Museum of Heartbreak , the coauthor of The Happy Book , and spends her free time reading, looking for street art, and people watching. She lives in Brooklyn, New York. You can visit her website at MegLeder.com or find her on Twitter @MegLeder.
Reviews (5)
Publisher's Weekly Review
When the McCullough twins were in fourth grade, Charlie got leukemia, and his sister, Parker, decided that the best way to keep everyone happy was to announce that she would become a doctor. Now, at 18, Charlie is recovering from a relapse, and while Parker has been accepted by Harvard and lined up a great summer internship, she also starts having panic attacks and wondering if all the work she's put in has been worth it. Amid the tension, the once-closer-than-close siblings can barely tolerate each other. Over the summer, Parker gradually finds out what she actually likes to do when she isn't fixated on getting a perfect GPA; she makes a new friend and reconnects with Finn, her recently returned childhood best friend. The complications and dangers surrounding Finn's life form a strong part of the book, which can otherwise feel a bit slow. But Leder (The Museum of Heartbreak) effectively shows how illness affects families and how a person can get stuck acting out a persona and end up knowing very little about herself. Ages 12-up. Agent: Michael Bourret, Dystel, Goderich & Bourret. (July) © Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved.
Horn Book Review
Since her twin brother was diagnosed with leukemia at age nine, Parker has known that she'll attend Harvard, then become a doctor. But when she quits a prestigious summer internship to work at a pottery studio (and spend time with a guy from her childhood), Parker cautiously imagines a new future. Beautifully written, the novel sensitively portrays a complex sibling relationship. (c) Copyright 2019. The Horn Book, Inc., a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.
Booklist Review
Ever since her twin brother, Charlie, was diagnosed with leukemia in fourth grade, Parker has vowed to become a doctor. She's even earned a competitive, coveted internship at Cincinnati Children's Hospital the summer before she starts at Harvard. But on her mind more than anything is the weight of everyone's expectations: Now that it's in front of me, I'm terrified. I don't know if I want to be a doctor. And I don't know who I am without that. To boot, Charlie has been acting erratic and reckless after his latest bout with cancer. In the midst of questioning her future and worrying about Charlie, Parker reconnects with Finn Casper, an old friend who hides a devastating secret. The anticipation and slow burn of Parker and Finn's relationship is electric. Leder gracefully emphasizes self-reflection, self-care, and the reality of exploring other options after high school. Honest dialogue and vividly rendered characters are the real stars of this absorbing novel that will appeal to fans of Rainbow Rowell.--Kling, Caitlin Copyright 2018 Booklist
School Library Journal Review
Gr 7 Up-Parker has known that she wanted to be a doctor ever since her twin -brother, Charlie, was diagnosed with leukemia when they were nine years old. Graduating valedictorian, getting accepted to Harvard, and landing a competitive pediatric oncology summer internship at the hospital make her decision a foregone conclusion. Parker's dream is to save people like Charlie. So why, then, does the thought of entering the hospital for her internship send her into paroxysms of anxiety? With two new friends challenging her idea of what's expected of her (one of them the handsome and artistic Finn Casper), Parker carves a new path and accepts a job at a ceramics studio. Coming to terms with what she wants in life is hard enough-how will she ever tell her parents? A poignant and carefully crafted story about growing up with the added complication of cancer. Even when in remission, cancer wrecks havoc on Charlie and his family and friends. A compelling coming-of-age novel sure to appeal to those who love realistic fiction. VERDICT Recommended for YA collections.-Ragan O'Malley, Saint Ann's School, Brooklyn © Copyright 2018. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.
Kirkus Review
Parker McCullough has just graduated as valedictorian, but the moment is bittersweet. Her twin brother, Charlie, is not sitting with their class, instead repeating his senior year thanks to his leukemia. Charlie isn't sure how to handle life after remission, and Parker isn't sure how to handle a future she doesn't want. Sure, she worked her butt off to get into Harvard and land that prestigious internship at Cincinnati Children's Hospitalbut now the thought of becoming a doctor makes her feel sick. Fortunately, Ruby, a rising junior, becomes Parker's new friend, and she reconnects with childhood classmate Finn, a boy from the wrong side of the tracks. Talking to Finn makes her brave enough to do what she wants, leaving the internship and working at a pottery studio, where, like clay on a wheel, she finally starts to take shape. These lifelike characters are perfectly imperfect in the face of their own challenges, whether that is physical abuse, cancer, or internal emotional struggles, with none presented as being of greater value than any other. Parker's best friend Emerson is a lesbian, and Parker suffers from anxiety. Major characters are white other than Ruby, who is African-American, and there is ethnic diversity in the community.For readers who love and appreciate a good coming-of-age story, a realistic romance, and a novel where every character gets to be a hero. (Fiction. 14-adult) Copyright Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.