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Material Type | Library | Call Number | Suggested Age | Status |
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| Book | Searching... Poca Public Library | 616.85 GUT | Adult | Searching... Unknown |
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Summary
Summary
By ABC News's chief national correspondent, an unflinching look at panic attacks by a reporter whose career was nearly derailed by them, offering readers a guide to making a truce with their warring minds
"Brave, reassuring, and practical...A balm for anyone who has ever suffered panic attacks and who longs to be released from their grip." --Dr. Nicole LePera, #1 New York Times bestselling author of How to Do the Work
"Seamlessly weaves page-turning personal experiences with scientific discoveries...A tour de force." --Ethan Kross, bestselling author of Chatter
Matt Gutman can tell you the precise moment when his life was upended. Reporting live on a huge story in January 2020, he found himself in the throes of an on-air panic attack--and not for the first time. The truth is that Gutman had been enduring panic attacks in secret for twenty years: soul-bruising episodes that left his vision constricted, his body damp, his nerves shot. Despite the challenges, he had carved out a formidable career, reporting from war zones and natural disasters before millions of viewers on Good Morning America, World News Tonight, and 20/20. His nerves typically "punched through" to TV audiences, making his appearances kinetic and often unforgettable.
But his January 2020 broadcast was unusual for all the wrong reasons. Mid-panic, Gutman misstated the facts of a story, a blunder that led to a monthlong suspension, not to mention public shame and personal regret.
It was a reckoning. Gutman's panic attacks had become too much for him to bear in secret. He needed help.
So begins a personal journey into the science and treatment of panic attacks. Gutman would talk to the world's foremost scholars on panic and anxiety, who showed him that his mind wasn't broken; it's our perception of panic that needs recalibration. He would consult therapists and shamans, trying everything from group treatment and cognitive behavioral therapy to ayahuasca and psilocybin. And he would take a hard look at the trauma reverberating inside him--from his childhood, but also from his years as a conflict reporter.
Unsparing, perceptive, and often funny, this is the story of a panic sufferer who took on the monster within. Filled with wisdom and actionable insights, it's at once an inspirational journey and a road map--if not toward a singular cure, then to something even more worthy: peace of mind.
Author Notes
MATT GUTMAN is ABC News's chief national correspondent. A multi-award winning reporter, Gutman contributes regularly to World News Tonight with David Muir , 20/20 , Good Morning America , and Nightline . He has reported from fifty countries across the globe and is the author of The Boys in the Cave: Deep Inside the Impossible Rescue in Thailand. He lives in Los Angeles with his wife and two children.
Reviews (2)
Publisher's Weekly Review
ABC News correspondent Gutman (The Boys in the Cave) delves into his "twenty-plus-year battle with panic disorder" in this enlightening outing. During his career at ABC, Gutman developed a "public persona of jovial fearlessness" whether reporting from Venezuela on the country's crumbling healthcare system in 2016, or crossing into Ukraine the day after the Russian invasion in 2022, despite "a rising crescendo of panic attacks" triggered by live broadcasting. After one such episode caused him to make a "fundamental journalistic error" while delivering a live report on the January 2020 helicopter crash that killed Kobe Bryant, Bryant's daughter Gianna, and seven others, Gutman decided to seek out solutions for panic disorder. Over a period of about four years, he "turned the handle of almost every door" to treat the issue, including trying a smorgasbord of pills, breathwork that granted him relief for weeks, a guided "mushroom experience" that improved his mood, drinking ayahuasca, and undergoing cognitive behavioral therapy. In the end, Gutman found "everything worked, some things more than others," and realized firsthand the value of disclosing the condition to gain "psychological relief" and release shame. While his list of tips for fellow sufferers is relatively generic ("don't let it fester," "meditate," and "breathe"), Gutman's up-close dispatches from his "circuitous road toward healing" are self-aware, sharp, and vulnerable. Anxiety sufferers should take note. (Sept.)
Kirkus Review
The chief national correspondent for ABC News reveals how he learned to tame a decades-old panic disorder. As a TV news reporter, Gutman has built a reputation not only as a thrill-seeker who has "swum with anacondas in the Amazon and tiger sharks in the Bahamas," but also for displaying "jovial fearlessness" in the face of every conceivable disaster. Yet his trademark imperturbability belied a struggle with a panic disorder that stemmed from a fear of presenting on live TV. Gutman dismissed his problem as "just nerves" until a diagnosis of panic disorder made him try all conventional "cures" available, including antidepressants, ADHD and anti-seizure medication, mindfulness, and meditation. When nothing--including indulgence in superstitions--worked, he transformed himself into a "human laboratory experiment." He tried less orthodox approaches like hypnosis and breathwork, both of which propelled him onto a "road less traveled" to healing. His openness to more unconventional treatment methods increased, and he began visits in earnest to healer-guides in the U.S. and South America. One, a clinical nurse in San Francisco, plied Gutman with psychedelic mushrooms that helped him access suppressed memories and feelings. Another, whom he met at an ayahuasca retreat in Peru, poisoned his system with tiny amounts of toad venom to induce bodily purgation. Two doctors in Ojai, California, gave Gutman doses of ketamine that helped him understand as never before the need to "release control" and move toward "self-forgiveness and tenderness." The author's condition ultimately improved--not because one psychedelic had helped more than the other, but because all his experiences led to the "emotional surrender" that brought him the better inner balance he had been seeking. Both warm and candid, this book is sure to offer helpful doses of hope, humor, and wisdom to anyone suffering from panic disorder. Insightful reading. Copyright (c) Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.
Table of Contents
| Prologue | 1 |
| Chapter 1 Textbook Panic | 15 |
| Chapter 2 Keeping the Secret | 36 |
| Chapter 3 The Good Panic | 58 |
| Chapter 4 A Thousand False Alarms | 74 |
| Chapter 5 Disclosure | 86 |
| Chapter 6 When the Doctor Sees You | 108 |
| Chapter 7 Lobster Claws and Mushrooms | 121 |
| Chapter 8 The Dose Makes the Poison | 136 |
| Chapter 9 "I Want You to Die Tonight" | 163 |
| Chapter 10 The Gold Standard | 183 |
| Chapter 11 The Balanced Breakfast of Human Experience | 203 |
| Afterword | 217 |
| Acknowledgments | 223 |
| Notes | 227 |
| Bibliography | 233 |
